To find your Dharma - Learning how to Thrive

Dharma has many meanings, among them: to see things just as they are; duty; reality; our essential nature; the law or destiny; and it is also simply referred to as “the way.” Dharma means we finally understand, through direct experience, the nature of life, consciousness, and love.

All of the paths of yoga are concerned with dharma. As the Bhagavad Gita mentions in 3:33, “It is better to live our own life, even if poorly, than to imitate someone else’s path.” Human beings, through the gift (and sometimes burden) of choice, are the only species confused about who we are and what our purpose is. Even the tiniest of flowers will bloom in the spring without apology and say, “here I am, I am yellow, and I smell lovely, and this is who I am and all this is my gift to you.”

Dharma is an expression of both our deepest longings as well as what we receive from our circumstances. It is our duty to find our dharma, our path with heart. The practices are meant to help us find it. It is said that there is no amount of money, fame, or success that can make us happy. The only path to happiness is to live our life with authenticity and to give our gifts to the world without sabotaging ourselves constantly.

What comes to mind is the idea of “living out loud.”

Many students experience confusion with regard to finding one’s purpose, or dharma. Somehow, finding one’s purpose has become mixed up with the New Age philosophy of “following your bliss and all else will follow.” Unfortunately, this approach does not work. Even when you are deeply ensconced in your dharma, your work will sometimes be hard, tedious, boring, and filled with obstacles of all kind. It is not always bliss. But underneath all of it is a faith, a commitment, and a dedication that will guide you through all of the obstacles. At the end of the day, we know it is all worth it.

There was a time when doing my yoga practice really hurt my body. People suggested that I stop practicing. But I knew that I could not quit! I knew that there was more to it, and that I had chosen the right path for me but not yet the skillful approach. This deep faith eventually led me to the right teachers, who could really help me.

Two clues to finding dharma

There are two important clues that can help you to find your dharma.

The first clue is to pay attention to your natural talents and all the things that are easy and effortless for you to do. You are naturally drawn to those things and when you are engaged with them, time passes fast. Initially, you may not value this trait. If you are not sure about your natural talents, you can ask your friends about them, as they may be aware of the gifts you have. For example, if you are a good listener you may not think that this is special, but there are plenty of jobs where being a good listener serves as the foundation of doing a good job, such as being a therapist.

The second clue is the exact opposite of what is easy for you. To identify this, you must look deeply into your core wounds.

I was sick as a child and struggled for survival for many years. Being incarnated in a body and being healthy is obviously a theme of struggle for me. Working through this challenge led me to yoga and to my dharma.

Another example of how your core wound can help you find your dharma is illustrated by this story from a fellow yoga teacher:

Many years ago this teacher had the desire to give back to society and began to teach at a local women’s shelter. She was excited about offering her service to girls and women who had been abused and she expected her weekly class to be fun and easy. What she did not expect was how difficult this task turned out to be; the young women would challenge her on every level and resist her in every way; but she did not give up. Eventually, this work forced her to face the abuse she suffered earlier in her life.

Eventually her teachings began to help the women and girls and in doing so, she also helped herself. Today, she is one of the most prominent and outspoken yogi/activists of our time.

We could call this evolved state of being “the wounded healer.”

(Excerpt from Yoga & Dharma Manual, soon to be released)

Sabbaticals and Façades

I’m sending love and blessings to you from Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Summer Sabbatical

For the first time since I started teaching 25 years ago, I took a six week hiatus, simply resting and enjoying the beautiful summer here in the land of enchantment. Not that it was easy – just like everyone else in our society, I am plagued by the constant drive to be productive and busy. I had to battle doubts and whispers like, “see, now you have retreated you will be cast off and placed on the sidelines and no one will remember you.” I bravely stood up to these voices and rested nevertheless, did some writing for my book, and took care of my garden.

Over Labor Day weekend I taught what will become an annual retreat (for all those of you who want an alternative to Burning Man!) and it was incredibly rewarding and successful on all levels.

During the retreat I got a confirmation of just how important and long overdue this sabbatical was. In a private interview a student gave me the greatest gift when she said, “Katchie, you’ve always delivered the goods as a teacher, I’ve always been enriched and satisfied from all of your programs I’ve taken, but this is the first time I feel that you are not squeezed and actually really enjoyed being with us and you are just positively glowing.”

It struck me how right she was. I love my job, I do, but it has been a process of constant and complete giving in various forms for 25 years. I needed a break, and when I came back I was coming from plenty. I made a vow to take my sabbatical and rest seriously!

Teaching without a Façade

Over the last few years, instead of presenting a perfect façade, I’ve made it my business to be real and vulnerable; not only in class, but also in my newsletters and other formats where I openly admit to the struggles we all face as a human family. I find it much more helpful as a teacher to do that; suggesting strategies on how to overcome those struggles. So I’m truly struck by how many teachers still try to portray their lives as flawless. I wonder – who does it serve in the end?

I see incredible websites filled with pictures of fantastic poses, shot in exotic locations, in bikinis on the beach, with romantic partners – the image of the ultimately unattainable perfect life. Those types of “suggestions” vaguely work on me too, causing me to temporarily question my own life – bringing up the feeling that somehow I missed out, and perhaps I am not talented or beautiful enough.

That plaguing “enough” question is so prevalent in our culture; actually, it’s something of a tactic, too – many of these seemingly perfect teachers will draw you into their circle offering the opportunity for you, too, to have what they have. I say, beware of them! You will probably never have quite those (fucking) backbends, or their beauty, fame or whatever it is, and neither will you ultimately want to.

I happen to know that many of them struggle with just the same things we do, they just choose a policy of non-disclosure on those less-than-glamorous aspects of their lives. They teach from their strength only, not from their vulnerable sides. Ultimately, this is alienating to students; you may gain some helpful tips on how to get into a pose, or hear about some great theory, but for the most part you will continue to pine away at the life they have and actually miss the one that is right in front of you, waiting to be lived fully and authentically.

To transform the heart of the student a teacher needs to have the courage to show themselves naked, so to speak. To me, the role of a good teacher is to meet students at the same human level – showing them that we are all dealing with the same difficulties. With experience and practice, the teacher illuminates the varied paths to overcome these shared obstacles to each unique student.

I hope to see you at one of my many offerings around the world this fall, and look forward to sharing some simple techniques on how to be an authentic and badass human being.