Calling each other and yourself on your stuff

How refreshing is it, to have someone tell you the simple truth. Not sugar coated, not enhanced but simply pointing things out the way they are. We have such confusion about that – especially those of us who follow Patanjali’s guide lines, or similar rules that say: Don’t cause any harm. But what if the harm caused is tiny in comparison with the big harm caused in the bigger picture? I know, it’s not an easy one, but like I said. It’s just nice to see things as they are.

For example a couple of days ago I saw very clearly that I have a petty side. Was that kind of harmful to admit to myself? Sure, it hurt some to accept it. Because it kind of hurt, I wanted to quickly stuff it back to where I can’t see it but instead I said it out loud to a couple of trusted friends. Both of them immediately said, yes, that’s true.

Hmmmm - literally that is what I thought. They didn’t try to talk me out of it, or try to distract me from the fact that it was true. Then I went a step further with the first trusted friend who happened to be my husband and I said. “Yes, I’m petty”. I thought to try it on and see how it felt. But my husband immediately corrected me and he said. “No, you are not petty, you just have a petty side sometimes”. And I realized that this is true, because I also have a generous side, and an inclusive side. The truth is that I’m all of these and none of these. And now what? I have noticed that every time that petty voice arises in me, the one that literally sees the world in black and white and tit for tat and measures everything I can actually see it for what it is and then choose whether I want to listen to it or not. Sometimes I do for a while because it feels kind of good to go tit for tat and then all of a sudden I get tired of it. That’s it. It’s a simple way to be free.

Everything to me is about freedom these days. I just want to be free, no matter the circumstances. I know the dharma works, but we have to actually practice in order to remember. And instead of having a petty side, we actually become petty. There is a big difference there. I’m thinking of naming my petty side. How about Mathilda?