Pain, Fear and Flying

I dreamt that I had been taught and had discovered the art of flying. I was wonderfully light and I flew wherever I wanted. It felt right and natural. I was completely free and I felt incredible.

I understood that this was the fruit of my spiritual practice, and I tasted what the Dharma will finally lead us to: Complete inner freedom. I knew that I had earned this through my many years of dedicated practice. It was finally working.

There was a person down below on earth, and I wanted something from this person. I wanted it really badly. I flew down, and showed her how much fun it was to be free. But she was preoccupied and not interested. I remember trying a few times. Then it became clear that I had to decide: I could either go down, give up my freedom and engage in a purposeless pursuit go get something that I couldn’t get anyway, or stay where I was and enjoy my freedom – the choice was mine.

And I chose. I saw clearly that I was no longer willing to give up what I have learned so easily, I no longer wanted to visit the same patterns over and over again.

The choice was clear and I woke up, in complete happiness.

For the first few days after surgery, I had a lot of pain in my foot. But because it was to be expected, I experienced no fear to go along with the pain. Fear and pain together are harsh fellows to bear and as a child when I had pain, it was often associated with something quite bad, so fear became a part of pain. But this time I had no fear because I knew that there would be pain after the surgery. Even in the first night, when the first pain wave hit after the anesthesia and blockers started to wear off, I didn’t want to take an other painkiller right away but opted to simply be with the pain and observe it. I did this for a few hours and it was a most interesting and informative few hours I spent.

What I learned with this mediation that pain is just pain. I can be with it without freaking out, creating stories in my head around it